lies

the truth is. . .


i do lie. to. .
myself
you.
them.

because truths is so painful.
they bite. they kick me out from myself.
i wish.
i am a fairytale.



reality is so strange. . .

scream!

HOMEWORKS.
esp add math :(

i wish you don't exist in my life.

TIRED,
exhausted.

i hope i can get over you.

YOU.
him. my monster,

i should forget about you too.

INTERNET,
laptop.

i do HATE you. because you keep calling my name!

LAZY,
sleepy head.

i wish you're gone.

MONEY,
materialistic.

please don't make me obsess to you lah!

p.s SCREAM, till you feel it. SCREAM, till you believe it. and when it hurt you SCREAM it out loud.


babe, i do miss this song very much!
i don't have earphone to use my mp3. x(

the old voice of Bill Kaulitz. :) still, great!

strange.

BILL kaulitz. oh. murshida should get over him. but.

-sigh- i can't. xD

hye. today.

i found something very. very intresting song.

i love the lyric actually. and the singer.

guess who..?

Kerli feat Tokio Hotel. :D :D i love both !

it's strange. yeah. i feel strange.
with my situation now.
i feel so sick of everyone. and myself.

yeah. myself.
the one who wants her dreams comes true. but yet.
she doesn't do anything to achieve it.

she keep blaming herself for everything that goes wrong.
even though. it's not her fault.

she feels very afraid to face the reality.
she locks her heart in empty cold room. just for keep herself safe from the obstacles.
but yet.
she feels very lonely.

and it's strange.
yeah. strange.

she doesn't want to face her fears.
the fears keep haunting her. but she doesn't do anything.

okay. let the truths hid behind all these words.

p.s i feel so strange in your perfect world. sorry. but i don't want to change.

prefect and narrator.

hye.

yesterday.

ada kelas English-YPJ tu.

dan yeah. best. because. kami hanya berlatih choral speaking dan readers theater!

whoa. so excited :D

but well. . .

we need to practice a LOT.

bacause, nanti ada yang kene hiccup!

we had so much FUN!

and.. Tired too. :( and sleepy. [me ONLY!]

tu laa. tidur lagi lambat semalam.

actually, bukan tidur lambat. [ttbe teringat budak bahasa baku tu!!. imy! MUAHAHA.]

can't sleep. because of the black shadow is haunting me.. geez. crap!

well, now, kinda... err. sleepy.. but tu la.. tak tidur lagi.. :D

lepas update ni tido eh...

Readers Theater :)

The King and Merchant are reading their their script

and me. the black red one, be the Narrator 2.

Sir Azhar aways picks me!

Choral Speaking :D

"hey YOU! i want complete silence NOW! stop talking NOW!!"

haha. my script. -.-"

penat berdiri!

ni apa yang akan terjadi bila Sir kasik rehat sebentar.

semua bukak facebook. :)

termasuk saya.

tapi dalam gamba ni.. budak ni tgh chattng ngan aku. HAHA. sedangkan aku duduk depan dia je.

look, how excited she IS!

well, that's all for now. ops.

ja. The Great Escape! wohooooo~

p.s i feel like... i want to kill him. i wonder. . why i do hate him very much..

i miss you badly.

"Missing you could turn from pain to pleasure,

if i knew you were missing me too."

hye.

now i feel very stupid. [mencarut ke saya?]

tak. cuma menyatakan sesuatu yang saya rasa sekarang.

i just want to say that.

i miss that person. very much.

no solid reason for missing that person. but....

well..

you know.. the feeling of missing someone that always be by your side..

that always care about how you feel..

even though that person make fun of you...

ahh. maybe i'm too tired to think about anything right now..

but you. :)

ja, now, i will go offline. rest. and thinking how i can use my mp3.. if there's no earphone.. geez..

old song. 2008. :) i love the lyric.

p.s ahh. the blue-falling-hearts :) eh, no.. liver?

friend of mine.

hye!.

this is what makes me feel to update today.

"name your best friend?" from Anonymous [formspring.me]

and i said in my formspring.me ; none -.- [i'm lying]

actually, i have err. best friends .

it's hard to explain.

to me. friends are....

hey, you know what.

friends doesn't need any specific label or something like that.

because, friends are just friends.

macam rossa dengan pasha ungu cakap...

"kerna sekali cintaaaaa... aku tetap cintaaaaaa....." LOL

aha! lagipon kalau nak name my best friends, macam banyak sangat. -.-

kawan kawan aku macam macam.

dan RAMAI. heee ^^

BATCH 13! :D dan awak awak kat taggies. :) dan kamu kamu di facebook... :P

so, full stop ! :)

oh dan. ini.. my other family! the Queen and the 8 princess :)

my face looks like.. a shite.. and retarded... and wth?

but yah, heyy, that's meee!

ehm. bila pertama kali kena tuka 'family' baru.

i feel so frustrated and... hate it very much..

honestly, i miss my old 'family'

-.- can't describe it into words. -.-

and sekarang. friday's night, we'll meet at somewhere in Skudai....

.. haish.. -sigh-

teramat jaoh dari rumah aku.. T^T

pastu pastu.. kena tidur rumah member...

dan saya tak suka itu.. x(

ja, ich vermisse sie alle. :((

so... ? ape aku boleh buat enn ? terima.. terima.. terima...

it's HARD. [i know you girls will read this.. but..]

whatever. i'm tired already.

FRAME.

tadi ade KRS. the first KRS yang form 4 handle.. weeeee~

gila syokk.

baju basah.. T^T

sebab hujan.. lecak.. euw.. euw..

dan form 4 buat FRAME. dari kertas..

penat gaduh dengan she.. nak pakai gam ke.. nak pakai tape..

-.- haishh.

dan hasilnyaaa. WHOAA.

tapi takde gamba hehh. :P

so, ja.. KRS kene best ek lepas ni..

walaupon actually i do hate KRS !

haha, ketua seksyen yang buat bunga kertas je tao... :D

korang kena dengar lagu friend of mine - lily ellen cantik! :)

sangat sarkastik. :P

p.s SANTHIEYYY. asal tak boleh gune youtube ni?? asek tak jadi je... T^T tolong la girlfriend you ni... HAHA...

ice flowers.

4 days ago; last update.

i've been very busy. with err. the same things i mentioned before. -sigh-

homeworks. school. everything. conclusion; i'm exhausted! never feel like this before.

even when i was 15, PMR, i felt very relax and... not so busy like NOW.

anyway, ice flowers by eisblume.

whoa, i like. beautiful. song. singer. lyric.

what's more? i just love this song.

i put it on my tagged account.

see? HAHA, feeling je dengar! romantic. :P

beautiful? YES she IS! :D

Eisblume :)

with her band i guess?

she does look 'NORMAL' right? YES, she's NOT.

she cover this song too. ah, both; SUPERB! :D

ah, someone ask me how i know her.

geez, youtube :)

my hobby is youtube walking. :P

lyric Ice Flowers by Eisblume

The day flies hasty from the sky

I watch the people walking by

The loneliness grows a moment

I wonder what you're hiding from

The evening's changing color now

Like a chameleon knows how

Another shape is safe to tell us

That we can't feel safe here

We know that in is time when

The moon appears all covered by the clouds

We are like ice flowers

We blossom in the night

We are like ice flowers

Beauty faded in the light

We are like ice flowers

Darkness is on our side

Ice flowers blossom in the night

The day comes back

We say goodbye

The hard like in my eyes

It's cold and silence is gone

I know we have to carry on

I'm longing for the nights disguise

It comes to take away our live

Another shape is safe to tell us

That we can't feel safe here

We know that in is time when

The moon appears uncover by the clouds

We are like ice flowers

We blossom in the night

We are like ice flowers

Beauty faded in the light

We are like ice flowers

Darkness is on our side

Ice flowers blossom in the night

Ice flower

We are like ice flowers

In the night

We are like ice flowers

We blossom in the night

We are like ice flowers

Beauty faded in the light

We are like ice flowers

Darkness is on our side

Ice flowers blossom in the night

p.s weewwiitt. mama and my sisters bought some kain for our baju raya! :) yeah, i have two. both is BLUE. and black and white. geez. EMO ! HAHA.

i forgot when was the last time i wear blue-baju kurung. xD

mind.

hey, it's good to be back. :)

and today topic. MIND.

everyone can think what's right for themselves.

but, sometimes, they make mistakes right?

why can't you forgive them?

is it necessary for insulting them just because they made a mistakes?

i mean REALLY? o.o can you imagine your FRIENDS, say anything bad behind your back?

geez, i just can't accept it.

for god sake,

it's a sin to say all the stuff you said to them.

it's unacceptable.

if you can't accept what they did to you, what about you just confront with them?

it's simple as that. :)

i think i agree with this post.

"some people don't know what they're talking about, right? I feel like shooting some thought bullets inside their mind! Talking and advising doesn't seems good and nice for them. Maybe bullets would do. Yeah, I think bullets are the best. Bullets are fast, small and sharp. Yeah, maybe it's the best."

I know it's hard to forgive and forget just like that.

but at least, try to accept their opinions.

THINK OUT OF THE BOX lahh!

don't think that this LIFE IS ALL ABOUT YOU okay?

be realistic and cool.

i think i should stop before i make that person mad.

but please, somethimes, you have to be a humble person so that everyone will love you.

ja, the old song.

my advice ; MIND YOUR WORDS okay darling? yeah, me too i guess. i make mistakes too. so, I'm sorry ! :)

p.s 2 days left! okay okay. i will stop now. eh NO, EISBLUME is AWESOME!

key.

'

tick... tock... tick... tock.. time is passing by...

' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' '

' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' '

'

wait, why i type ' that? geez.

i'm thinking and wondering something.

type deviantart.com on search engine.

and i type.. 'key'.. on deviant.

then i found this. it's wicked!

i want that too.

actually, i did copy many pictures of key.

and talk about key..

key 1.

i love the wings!

as you know, i always draw wings in my sketches.

eh NO, you don't know.

key 2.

love the colour.

red red :) and the sword :O

wicked!

key 3.

love the design.

looks like a cardcaptor sakura's sword thingy. xD

key 4.

for some reason i do love stars :)

maybe because of that tragedy to her. x)

te heee. my bro he's using my YM.

then,

my bro IM with her.

"tgh makan kuaci sambil kira bintang!"

she just like... "what the heck i'm talking about"

-the rest is HISTORY.-

and whenever we talk about stars,

we'll remember this funny tragedy.

hihi^^

i think she's the only one that trust me whatever i've said to her.

lucky me to have friend like her!

even if i say i have MTV World Stage's tickets!

key . conclusion.

i am wondering .

maybe i should find the master key to unlock your master heart!

today punya lagu! auuww. sweet sgt!

*for a couple hours, i search a song that suit with this post.

and i think this is it! yeah, enjoy~

"loneliness is just a crime..." that is very TRUE!

p.s wait, lock and key ... OMG! it's biology. enzyme topic.. geez. hey, i do love biology oke? siapa kate biology ta best? HAHA.

tired.

lately, i kinda feel tired.

yeah, with homeworks and classes.

not only the normal class ~ plus the night class too.

and what the hell i think i might dying because getting too tired.

sometimes i feel i want to quit everything.

and just sit and stare at those people who is busy with their life.

to be honest, i feel so empty and Zero.

i'd feel that my life is so meaningless. [sometimes]

i'm on the edge of broken.

need to fall down and get back.

but i don't think i want to get over it.

just leave me in my own world.

because i want to live in it.

being so care less about other people can makes me happy.

doesn't need to make a BAD THOUGHT ABOUT ANYONE.

just think about yourself. [the selfish in me said it.]

oh, this is what i really look like when i feel tired.

so miserable.

so tired.

so not nice :(

i just need this.

rest. sleep.

for a long time. maybe for a month to regain myself. i wish i can do that.

sleep for a month. :)

i need some time to finish and settle all these things.

to clean up the mess that i've done before.

to be a normal AGAIN.

okay, i should go to bed now. seriously, i'm very tired.

before that;

this song suit my mood now.

p.s dia memang suka perli aku. yelah, aku je lah yang selalu kena.

i lost my soul.

honey,

'emotional breakdown' need to get over.

if not, i will be sad and frust all the time.

so, smile :)

oh, and this is new picture.

i edit it.

when i have some money,

i want to make my eyes like THAT!

okay taK? HAHA.

this is the other me :)

p.s today, i lost my soul. tomorrow, i will lose my heart because hihi^^ SECRET LAA! :P

matter of time

hello, ,

feeling so stress out with homeworks and

getting tired with life.

i'm exhausted

:(

just listen to this song.

Here it goes again,

Put on that deserving tone

and don't forget that this was all your fault.

It's breathing down your neck,

you know you've got to let this go.

You're such a wreck and now it starts to show.

Cause all you can't deny

is held inside

And when we go, we say goodbye,

and then we run,

We run away.

From all we can't deny is just a lie.

And when we try to just get by

We just can't get past ourselves.

Cause where you are is where you'll be

always wanting everything.

It's all the same that you can't ignore

Cause all you want is just to be more.

It's creeping up again.

(It's all been considered, it's a game and you're not the winner)

It's a haunting memory.

Cause all you can't deny

is held inside

And when we go, We say goodbye

and then we run,

We run away.

From all we can't deny is just a lie.

And when we try to just get by

We just can't get past ourselves.

Cause where you are is where you'll be:

always wanting everything.

It's all the same, that you can't ignore

Cause all you want is just to be more.

Cause who you are is who you'll be,

and that is really everything.

It's all the same that you can relate.

Cause what you want's not what you're getting.

It's just a matter of time, It's just a matter of time.

It's just a matter of time, It's just a matter of time.

It's just a matter of time,

'til you know you'll be somebody tonight.

It's just a matter of time (where you are is where you'll be)

It's just a matter of time (and that is really everything)

It's just a matter of time (it's all the same that you can relate)

'Til you know you'll be somebody tonight. (cause what you want's not what you're getting)

It's just a matter of time

It's just a matter of time

italic font makes sense.

it's just a matter of time.

p.s let the music tell everything :(

'let it go murshida. . Allah is always by your side. sila tabahkan diri anda! .'

chemistry :)

cuak en tengok tajuk?

aku suka chemistry au sekarang.

:P

i'd love it :) ich liebe dich! :)

hihi^^ aku suka :)
Kimia - Melda Ahmad.

cute voice lah sayang oii. muah muah sikit! =))

[ayat muah muah tu aku nak perli seseorang snanye.]

but beyb, bukan nak perlekehkan kau tau,

cuma lawak gila write cmtu kat blog kau! :)

oh, this song is so cute.

"aku mula jatuh hati padamu.. setelah kau kata cinta padaku..."

BHAHAHA, no, i'm not in love with anyone right now.

because i don't think 'couple' can makes me happy.

i have my families.

i have my friends.

it's enough to have them by my side. :)

p.s mohd kat mentor :) haha, he's actually sekolej ngan my bro dherr. x) nani hancuss! aku lagi suka si ila :D

o.O

hey, what's up girls? [memang kena type girls je.]

haish, i feel like i'm going to DIE soon. YES i Am.

but well yeah,

i Quit.

i Give up.

i Hate.

i Frust.

i'm speechless for no reason.

today is weird actually.

i don't know why my junior ask me about my weight today?

girls, you really want to KNOW THAT?

i feel so NOT going to tell you the answer. xD

and, that person delete their tagged. xD oh so gonna miss them. x(

and.

i feel weird today. can't describe it into words. or letters.

p.s hate me please.